From Agency to Autocomplete: Are Kids Outsourcing Thinking to AI?

Hello fellow thinker and doer,

While many are exploring how AI can make us faster, smarter, and more productive, join me in sitting with a different question: can AI help children flourish?

This technology is opening a new chapter in human history—one that will profoundly shape how children learn, connect, and grow.

And yet, as we redesign classrooms, tools, and learning itself, the most important question often goes unasked: Are we building systems that support children’s agency, relationships, and deep development—or quietly eroding them?

It’s critical to ensure that this powerful technology—and the systems surrounding it—support children’s healthy development.

It is no longer up for debate whether AI will influence our lives. It’s how it will shape us—and who will our children become in return? 

Why Human Flourishing Must Guide Our Educational and Technological Systems

Philosopher Shannon Vallor defines human flourishing today not as efficiency or productivity, but as “living well with others in a world shaped by evolving technologies.” 

It’s a vision grounded in purpose, care, courage, and connection. But it demands intentional design—of both our technology and our educational systems.

And right now, those systems are being reshaped—often without us even noticing. Systems that were designed for a different time to support children’s healthy development are being bent, broken or overriden entirely.

A recent LEGO Foundation–backed report, the first of its kind studying AI use and kids, revealed that 57% of kids who use generative AI for their homework try to pass it off as their own.

I am not a technoskeptic at all—I have built my career using mobile technology to bring knowledge and opportunity to millions of children.

But getting AI to do homework does not really support children to flourish—it bypasses the very processes that build critical thinking, information evaluation, and the ability for kids to make meaningful decisions for themselves.

This isn’t just about shortcuts—it’s about subtle erosions of agency and ownership.

In order to life a fulfilling life, we have to have the ability to choose our path and adventure —from where we live, to who we love, to who we vote for. Are we preparing children to author their own lives—or to live lives increasingly authored by machines?

How AI Is Eroding Children’s Agency That Is At The Heart of Human Flourishing

We’re entering an era where AI shapes not just how children learn, but how they decide what to learn—suggesting their next word, video, even their sense of purpose.

At first glance, this seems helpful. But the cost of allowing AI to dictate children’s learning comes at a grave risk.

Brendan McCord gave a compelling lecture recently on this topic at MIT. He is the co-founder of Cosmos, a new venture focused on cultivating technologies that support human flourishing in the AI age. Brendan argues that outsourcing learning does matter, and that we are at risk of raising a generation living in “autocomplete for life.”

He warns that each small delegation of choice—“What should I watch?” “What should I write?”—feels harmless. But taken together, they threaten the flame of self-authorship.

What’s at stake isn’t just curriculum. It’s autonomy.

Potential Solutions: New Educational Models For A New Era

In a recent episode of the New York Times podcast The Ezra Klein Show, journalist and political analyst Ezra Klein sat down with Rebecca Winthrop, senior fellow at the Brookings Institution and co-director of its Center for Universal Education. Their conversation explored what the future of learning could look like in the age of AI, and centered on how to ensure that children are developing agency over their learning.

Because in an uncertain, rapidly shifting world, agency may be the new literacy—the essential capacity that enables young people to navigate complexity, adapt, and thrive.

Rebecca Winthrop defines agency in learning as a child’s ability to reflect on what they’re learning, identify what sparks their curiosity, and develop the skills to pursue that curiosity independently.

She argues that the capacity to self-direct learning in uncertain environments is essential. In a rapidly changing world, it’s the core skill that will enable children to keep learning, adapting, and thriving.

For my fellow educators and changemakers, and parents too, what we want are feedback loops that are beyond just grades and behavior. We need to know: are children developing agency over their learning?

A Bold Experiment: 4 Essential Learning Pillars That Matter In New Educational Models

Winthrop points to Denmark’s collaborative new experiment: a national Education Lab that brings together government, families, and communities to co-design what school should look like in the AI era.

This is a collective effort to reimagine education as a foundation for democratic life, where children grow not only as learners but as citizens capable of participating in shaping their world.

From this experiment and the resources listed in further reading below, I have identified four common threads that offer promise in the age of AI to avoid the agency outsourcing trap in learning:

1. Agency and Judgement

When children are empowered to make decisions, reflect on outcomes, and exercise discernment, they are not just consuming knowledge; they’re shaping their capacity to thrive in uncertainty. These are the muscles we must strengthen—not replace.

Agency and judgment are foundational to human development—and irreplaceable by AI.

2. Social skills

As AI takes over more cognitive and technical tasks, the ability to connect meaningfully with others will become even more valuable.

Schools must prioritize peer interaction and community connection as essential preparation for a future where interpersonal, caregiving, and teaching roles remain uniquely human.

As machines grow smarter, our relationships must grow deeper. Fostering relational intelligence is no longer optional—it’s foundational.

3. Oracy

Listening and speaking—what educators call oracy—will be just as essential as reading and math.

In a time when digital interactions often reduce language to taps, swipes, and auto-responses, we need to rebuild children’s capacity for dialogue: to tell stories, ask questions, debate, reflect. Oracy is how we practice relating—to ourselves, to each other, and to society.

IMAGE: A circle of children sitting on the floor in a sunlit classroom, engaged in animated storytelling—one child holding a talking stick, others reacting with laughter, curiosity, or empathy.

Oracy will be key to learning and social cohesion in the age of AI.

4. Friction

Friction matters. McCord reminds us that real learning often begins with discomfort—with questions that don’t have easy answers, or tasks that demand struggle.

AI is designed to smooth the path, but children need the opportunity to wrestle with complexity. Productive friction doesn’t slow growth—it deepens it.

IMAGE: A child surrounded by open books, papers, and digital tools, with a puzzled expression and a hand on their chin—clearly thinking hard. The room shows signs of exploration and effort, not tidiness.

True learning often comes from grappling with difficult ideas, not bypassing them with convenient prompts.

That’s why McCord calls for tools that preserve judgment, rather than override it.

He cites the Bloomberg terminal—a tool used in finance—not for its ease, but for how it supports high-quality decision-making.

What if education technology worked the same way? Designed not to entertain or simplify, but to stretch the mind, encourage discernment, facilitate human interactions and respect the learner’s autonomy.

McCord invites us to preserve “spaces where we work through problems with the full weight of our own judgment.” He calls for tools that don’t narrow our intellectual periphery, but expand it—designed for discernment, not ease.

My Insights

As I reflect on these conversations—from Ezra Klein’s podcast to Brendan McCord’s lecture—I’m struck by how often we talk about agency as a cognitive capacity.

I invite you to reflect with me on another perspective on agency and its development in early childhood:

Agency starts in childhood, when a child learns to trust their hunger, notice a feeling, set a boundary, take a breath.

Long before we can speak our choices, we feel them.

In Buddhist traditions, this idea is captured in virya—translated as vigor—a kind of courageous, energetic, joyful effort in pursuit of what’s good.

Vigor from this perespective is not just energy, but embodied discernment. My hypothesis is that cultivation of this embodied discernment matters greatly.

In modern psychology, we see evidence for embodied agency in scientific research on self-regulation, executive function, and interoception—the ability for children to notice and interpret internal cues like heartbeat, breath, or emotional shifts.

Critical competencies of self-regulation, stamina, and “grit” are linked to bodily awareness, movement, and rest.

Somatic educators and trauma researchers emphasize:

This is why somatic psychology teaches that trauma healing requires reclaiming bodily power—through movement, breath, boundaries.

So when we talk about helping children build autonomy, we must ask:
Are we giving them the space to feel their own signals? To move, pause, and choose?

Vigor by this definition is about thriving with integrity—aligning our inner experience with the choices we make in the world.

I believe this is the kind of agency we need to protect, especially in an age of automation. Its an agency that enables us to pursue our own definition of success, and to live well with ourselves and others.

Key Takeaways for Practice

• Protect productive friction: Encourage spaces where children wrestle with ideas rather than receive instant answers.

• Prioritize agency: Ask whether your tools, classrooms, or content offer children real choices and ownership.

• Build oracy: Make listening, storytelling, and dialogue as central as reading and math.

• Foster social skills through real-world interaction: Create regular opportunities for children to collaborate, communicate, and build relationships—both with peers and across generations.

Further Learning

AI for Learning – A Research Lab (University of Southern Denmark)
Denmark is pioneering a thoughtful, collaborative approach to AI in education—bringing together researchers, educators, and policymakers to explore how AI can enhance learning, support democratic values, and preserve teacher–student relationships.
🔗 Read more at SDU

“The Future of Education” – The Ezra Klein Show (New York Times)
This podcast features Ezra Klein in conversation with Rebecca Winthrop (Brookings Institution) about how education must evolve in the age of AI—centering agency, democratic participation, and human connection.
🔗 Listen to the episode

Cosmos Institute – Brendan McCord’s Work on AI and Autonomy
Brendan McCord, founder and Chair of the Cosmos Institute, is advancing a vision of AI that supports human judgment, moral development, and flourishing—building tools and ideas for a future beyond “autocomplete for life.”
🔗 Explore the Cosmos Institute

MIT Media Lab AHA Symposium: “Can We Design AI to Support Human Flourishing?”
This symposium brought together AI thinkers including Brendan McCord, Arianna Huffington, and Cynthia Breazeal to explore how emerging technologies can serve autonomy, connection, and well-being.
🔗 View the MIT AHA Symposium

Technology and the Virtues – Shannon Vallor
In this book, philosopher Shannon Vallor explores how we can reclaim and adapt classical virtues—like courage, empathy, and practical wisdom—for a world shaped by AI and emerging technologies. A foundational text for thinking about ethics, agency, and flourishing in the digital age.
🔗 Explore the book