One Kind of Screen Time That Nurtures Kids

What if there was a kind of screen time you didn’t have to worry about?

In a world where fear around screen time and its impact on child development is rampant, it turns out video chat—FaceTime, Zoom, or any live, interactive call—might be an exception to the rule.

Let’s explore how this understanding can help us in creating better learning experiences.

How broader networks play a critical role in raising children—even if digital.

I recently traveled to Glasgow, Scotland, to visit my three-year-old godson. I was delighted when he ran into my arms the moment he spotted me at the train station—especially since we had only seen each other once or twice in person and hadn’t been together for over a year!

It turns out that thanks to our regular WhatsApp calls, he knew me well enough to greet me with open arms. During these chats, he would invariably pop up on screen whenever I was talking to his mom, and it became a special ritual that kept our connection strong despite the distance.

This kind of sustained relationship through video calling is aligned with a concept known as alloparenting.

Alloparenting refers to caregiving that extends beyond the nuclear family—often involving grandparents, aunts, uncles, godparents, and close family friends. In many cultures, these broader networks play a critical role in raising children.

Video chat brings that tradition into the digital age, allowing distant relatives and friends to read stories, provide comfort, or simply talk about the child’s day. Even when relatives are separated by continents, these calls can create a sense of closeness and emotional security.

While not a substitute for the richness of in-person relationships, it is a way to maintaining strong, nurturing bonds across miles.

The fact that video chat nurtures healthy development is key to reimagining our fraught relationship to screen time within the family unit and in learning experiences.

Finding ways that media can help to boost family relationships makes me optimistic that we can transform the role of this powerful technology that is so embedded in the fabric of our family life.

Why Is Video Chat Better for Kids?

In many households, young children’s screen time often involves passively watching shows or tapping through apps. On average, children aged 2-4 in the US currently watch 2 hours and 20 mins of screen time per day, with the bulk of that spent on YouTube.

Yet recent research shows that chatting with grandparents or extended family transforms screen time into something far more dynamic and developmentally enriching. Unlike watching a cartoon, live video interactions allow children to respond to questions, share stories, and engage in genuine back-and-forth communication (think serve and return interactions).

This synchronous, two-way engagement is key to sustaining a child’s natural curiosity and building stronger social-emotional connections, making this form of screen time supportive of healthy child development.

Video call with relatives—broader networks play a critical role in raising children.

The positive impact of these interactions has been underscored by several research studies.

For instance, Barr et al. (2018) found that when children aged two to four engaged in video calls with attentive adults, their language acquisition and social skills improved.

Because they were able to ask questions and receive immediate feedback, children treated the video chat more like a playful, face-to-face conversation rather than “screen time.”

This distinction is vital: children thrive when their learning experiences are responsive and interactive, rather than passive.

Key Takeaways for Practice

1. Create Video Chat Rituals With Distant Loved Ones: Short, scheduled calls with extended family can become anchor points in a child’s day to help strengthen those bonds.
2. Keep It Interactive: Encourage your child to share a craft or a favorite toy, and ask relatives to do the same.
3. Follow-Up Chats: After the call, ask your child about what was discussed or what stood out. This can help them connect the “2D” virtual interaction to real-life experiences.

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References

Rideout, V., & Robb, M. B. (2020). The Common Sense Census: Media use by kids age zero to eight, 2020. Common Sense Media.

Barr, R. (2018). Babies and screen media: The good, the bad, and the unknown. Developmental Science, 21(1), e12527.

Scheidecker, G. (2023). Parents, caregivers, and peers: Patterns of complementarity in the social world of children in rural Madagascar. Current Anthropology, 64(3), 287–320.